Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Vs. Zombie Hunter

For our Full Review of Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies, click Here

Full Moon was infamous for making cheaper versions of blockbuster films for the direct-to-video market in the 90s. They have since moved on to Killer Bongs and Killer Cookies, leaving the market open for low budget Hollywood knockoffs. The Asylum has since filled the void releasing such classics  as Titanic 2, Almighty Thor and Nazis at the Center of the Earth.

The Asylum’s latest film Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies is set for a May 22 release. That’s exactly one month before Seth Grahame-Smith’s highly anticipated Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is set to hit theaters.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is based on the popular book with the same name, and is the follow-up to Smith’s best selling Pride and Predjudice and Zombies. Here is a side-by-sode comparison of both versions.

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Abraham Lincoln:  Benjamin Walker vs. Bill Oberst Jr.  

Vampire Hunter Walker appeared in Flags of Our Fathers, while Zombie Hunter Oberst is the cyber-stalker in Jason Zada’s viral Facebook application Take This Lollipop. I think it’s quite clear which is a superior feat of acting: the terrifying facebook stalking.

Edge: Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies

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Director: Timur Bekmambetov vs. Richard Schenkman

Vampire Hunter is directed by Timur Bekmambetov, the director of Night Watch and Day Watch. Lincoln Vs. Zombies is directed by Richard Schenkman who directed the awful Man From Earth starring Tony Todd and William Kat. Despite being over-stylized, Bekmambetov has proven himself as being very competent in the director’s chair. I’m surprised Schenkman still has a career.

 Edge: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

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Monster: Vampires vs. Zombies

No contest! Vampires suck!

Edge: Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies

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Female Lead: Mary Elizabeth Winstead vs. Baby Norman

Winstead (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World) plays Mary Todd Lincoln. Norman (Bimbo #1 in Kathy T) plays Lincoln’s old crush Mary Owens. The winner is the actress whose previous roles weren’t being the first bimbo.

 Edge: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

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Supporting Actor: Jefferson Davis vs. Stonewall Jackson

John Rothman as Davis and Don McGraw as Jackson. Since I have no idea who McGraw is, Rothman wins this one.

Edge: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

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Plot:

 Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - President Lincoln’s mother is killed by a supernatural creature, which fuels his passion to crush vampires and their slave-owning helpers.

Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies - While the Civil War rages on, President Lincoln must undertake an even more daunting task; Destroying the Confederate Undead.

Lincoln  becoming Batman to fight vampires sounds lame. Lincoln fighting the Confederate Undead  sounds awesome.

Edge: Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies

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Overall:

I enjoyed Night Watch because at the time of its release it seemed unique. The heroes didn’t dress in spandex and leather, and everything wasn’t blue. However, Bekmambetov seems to have one style, and that style is prevalent in the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter trailer, which looks atrocious. The bad action scenes remind me of Priest or Underworld, and Walker is no Kate Beckinsale.   It’s pretty obvious Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is probably going to suck.

Asylum films are hit and miss, but they are mostly misses. They’re  great at creating titles like 2-Headed Shark Attack, but the movies normally fall flat. Their best flick was the Will Smith I Am Legend inspired I Am Omega starring the Iron Chef Mark Dacascos. That was at least directed by Griff Furst, who has had some previous filmmaking experience. Schenkman’s track record isn’t impressive and the cast is unknown. Why isn’t C. Thomas Howell in this?

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies seems  hard to screw up even with no budget. Oberst is an intimidating Lincoln and the zombie makeup looks impressive. I have my fingers crossed that this will be Asylum’s first home run.

Edge: Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies

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