Before There Was Ted (2012) There Was… The Pit!

I don’t care if the talking teddy bear from Seth MacFarlane’s first feature film Ted is just a straight version of Roger or Stewie; foul mouthed stuffed animals in movies will always be funny. The perverted Baby Oopsie Daisy doll made Full Moon’s Demonic Toys an instant direct-to-video classic, and who can forget the most famous living children’s toy of all… Chucky!

Everyone loves talking inanimate objects. Disney has built an empire based on them, but some of us just have a more sadistic sense of humor than others. Ted is about a teddy bear that comes to life as a result of Mark Wahlberg’s childhood wish and grows up with him. You can tell from the poster alone, the film promises to be vulgar and raunchy, in proper Seth MacFarlane fashion. But if you love sick and twisted teddy bears, I have just the movie for you to watch while you wait for Ted to his theaters on July 12.

The Pit is a classic 80s horror flick that follows a 12 year-old boy named Jamie Benjamin who discovers a pit of monsters that he calls Tra-la-logs in the woods near his house. Like any prepubescent boy, Jamie has a crush on his babysitter, Sandy O’Reilly, and is obsessed with seeing grown women naked. While most childhood crushes can be cute, Jamie’s obsession is a lot more darker or closer to psychotic. Jamie’s curiosity is encouraged by his stuffed teddy bear named Teddy, who also talks him into feeding his neighborhood tormentors to the Tra-la-logs in the pit.

The Pit is not your normal horror film, it’s also a twisted coming of age tale, however, Jamie Benjamin “comes of age” a little ass backwards. Jamie isn’t content with just seeing Sandy’s panties, he also forces her to wash his back while he taking a bath, stalks her in the shower, and shares his secret with her about the pit of mysterious creatures. But Jamie’s psychotic harassment doesn’t stop there, he also blackmails the school’s librarian into taking nude pictures, and feeds his captive pets cripples and local children.

The film features the legendary Canadian child actor Sammy Snyders as the demented Jamie Benjamin. Even though Snyders’ effective portrayal of Jamie is what earned The Pit its cult status, there is also an important co-star that makes this film great.

Unlike Mark Wahlberg’s fluffy childhood pal Ted, who is voiced by Seth MacFarlane, Jamie’s Teddy was voiced by Jamie himself. If you argued that Teddy’s speaking scenes are just a manifestation of Jamie’s inner dialogue you would probably be right. According to the film’s Wiki page even the Tra-la-logs were supposed to be a figment of Jamie’s imagination based on the original script. Thankfully the director Lew Lehman changed it, turning the Tra-la-logs into actual monsters existing in the world of The Pit, even though the writer disagreed with Lehman’s tweaks.

It doesn’t matter if Teddy is just Jamie talking to himself, or if he is as real as the Tra-la-logs in the woods. The Pit still features one of the best talking teddys ever captured on film.

The Pit was released as one of Anchor Bay’s two-in-one Drive In features along with Hellgate, but the DVD is out of print. However, the movie is still available on Netflix or you can watch it on YouTube for free.

Check out the trailer for Ted:

And For The Pit:

 

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