5 Terrible TV Logos

I am a stickler for good design. I can’t help it. If I had any friends, they would most likely hear me griping about how abysmal this sign’s kerning is, or how gut-wrenching something was photoshopped at every place we went (luckily for them, they don’t exist).

But, just like film, design has the capacity to be SO bad it’s good. Logos, which require the designer to take in all the pertinent information of a complex idea and then digest down into a single mark, are notoriously hard to create. Because of this, we usually find ourselves with a lot of templated, half-assed work which takes the most obvious representations of their concept, and tosses them together without much thought or consideration for what they are trying to represent (note the two greate examples from Your Logo Makes Me Barf below:

On the other side of this, we find ourselves faced with the overzealous, under-directed designer, who take their ideas on a path so far out into the universe that the resulting logo is mesmerizingly awful. I’ve managed to scrape together 5 logos for TV shows which are so stupid I think I’m in love with them, (and secretly wish that I had made them myself).

1.) Disorderly Conduct: Video on Patrol

What do you think when you hear disorderly conduct? My first thought probably would have been people peeing on each other, but seeing as the FCC probably wouldn’t allow that to become part of an animated logo, they instead decided to go to the next best option: Police car flying through an explosion. I think the rest speaks for itself.

2.) Cupcake Wars

While Disorderly Conduct has taken a special place in my heart, I think Cupcake Wars probably has one of the best-worst logos I have ever seen. There’s nothing I can even say about it. Actually, I think it’s perfect. Maybe when I make my favorite logos of all time post (WON’T HAPPEN) it will be featured as the crown jewel of design.

3.) Chef Ography

I was initially repulsed by this logo. The broken words, floating squares (and heads) were not only illogical, but ridiculous. However, the longer I examined Chef Ography, the funnier the logo became. I started trying to imagine what the hell those squares could have possibly meant. Since Chef Ography is kind of like a corruption of Geography, would it be possible that these squares were points on a map? Was the O supposed to be a plate, and the green squares food objects? Was Giada de Laurentiis getting her butt touched? We may never know.

4.) Around the World in 80 Plates
This poster literally stopped me dead in my tracks. I understand the divide between TV and print. It took awhile for me to learn this, but around age 19, I was finally able to discern that they were two different mediums. And while these two platforms have vastly different rules about how things are displayed, one rule follows through everything: A good logo should be understandable at any size, not only when blown up at 400%. It took me a good few minutes to see everything that Around the World in 80 Plates had to offer, and that’s when it was printed at its full size. This means when it’s popping up at the bottom of your TV in the middle of another program, or on some banner ad on your computer, it’s going to look like a poop smudge. That, and it’s probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

5.) Manswers

Maybe I just have a soft spot for logos floating in explosions, and while Disorderly Conduct takes the prize for best piece of garbage, the Manswers Logo makes the list for several reasons. The logo is difficult to read, I have no idea what the concept behind it is, (man metal?) whatever. I don’t even want to think about this. It’s just dumb. But my real question is, can you fart so hard your balls explode?

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