Movie Review: Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies (2012)

Yesterday I was commissioned to write a “drunk” review about The Asylum flick Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, which posed two problems for me: 1) I got so drunk I passed out before the movie ended (I finished it the next day) and, 2) I hate writing reviews.

Regular YWC readers already know that I’m a huge Asylum movie buff, but what does one say about Asylum films? There isn’t really any need to dissect a movie like Mega Piranha. I just want to publish the trailer, poster, and the tagline from the film Pieces (“It’s exactly what you think it is!”) as my review when it comes to movies like these. However, since I don’t think that’s what the editors of this website want, I will attempt to give this a real review.

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies is Asylum’s mock-buster version of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. If you would like to waste $10 ($13 if its in 3D) on an over stylized boring piece of drab hollywood, Vampire Hunter will be in theaters on June 22, 2012. If you can afford $1 and live near a Red Box I suggest renting Abe vs Zombies instead. If you’re a collector looking to add a new zombie movie to your collection, I will recommend renting it first, although $12.45 for the Blu-ray isn’t a bad deal.

When it comes to a low budget movie named Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies you can only ask for two things: A decent Lincoln and zombies. Bill Oberst Jr. delivers as Lincoln, and there are plenty of zombies, which makes this movie a success in my book!

I really can’t stress enough how impressed I was by Oberst’s performance as the 16th President. If there was an award for best acting in an Asylum film, Oberst would win it hands down. Sorry Debbie Gibson, C. Thomas Howell and Mark Dacascos! Actually Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies is probably the best acted film in Asylum history.

Besides the acting, Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies stands out amongst your typical Saturday afternoon Syfy films because it actually features the undead. Most films of the Syfy ilk suffer because the Super Shark is only in Super Shark for a mere five minutes. You spend most of the feature bored with the bad filler dialogue between Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. Abraham Lincoln succeeds because it features a lot of zombie head shot action. Unfortunately it lacks from any real zombie gut-munching action that zombie fans expect, and practical effects fans will be disappointed by the CGI bloodshed (look for some random wayward CGI blood at the 30:10 mark). However, the multiple kitschy moments and over-the-top dialogue will keep the biggest z-movie enthusiast entertained.

I applaud everyone involved with the making of Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies as it easily cracks the top five best Asylum films ever made. It could have easily been another disappointment like Transmorphers or Zombies vs. Vampires. There is an art to low budget mock-buster filmmaking, and this movie excels at it.

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