Trailer Review: Spiders 3D

Spiders 3D trailer

You would never think a movie titled “Spiders 3D” would be interesting. In fact, by its name alone one would, and should, assume that it is an IMAX documentary you would take your little sister to (if you wanted her to kill herself). And it shouldn’t be. Nothing about this movie should make me want to watch it. But I do. I do so bad it hurts.

Something about the stupid looking spider – with its gargantuan body and noticeably un-spider like face – prowling around a burning city with a helicopter and a stupid little man, made me snort.  So, I watched the trailer.

From the second it started, I knew Spiders 3D wasn’t going to let me down. To ominous music, a poorly rendered space station tells you that it is holding a terrible secret. What’s that secret, you ask? Well we find out when part of the station crashed into NYC – and SPIDERS BREAK FREE! (the secret is spiders, by the way, in case I didn’t make that clear. Russian space spiders – made even more clear at about :40 seconds into the trailer (below) when a army general declares “So thats what this is about: Huge spiders.” No one is going to be confused about Spiders 3D. NO ONE!

While normal sized at first, when they start laying eggs in new yorkers they begin to grow. How big? Well, take a look at the poster below to get an idea. And instead of mandibles and weird goopy mouthparts, these spiders have teeth and jaws! (a known side-effect of reproducing with the notoriously grumpy Manhattanites).

I couldn’t think of a more compelling movie to watch. And if you’re still on the fence, wait for the last line of the trailer – and I’ll guarantee you’ll be sold. On top of which, I can only imagine all the fun I’m going to have when 3D spider’s start jumping out at my face.

Check out the trailer below and let me know if you love Spiders 3D as much as I do!

And here’s the poster!

Spiders 3D movie poster

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