Byzantium Trailer a Huge Bore

Byzantium

I love history. I also love murals. Needless to say, when I came across a trailer for an upcoming film titled Byzantium, I was pretty excited. What’s not to love about 3rd – 15th century mosaics and church frescos? Right? But it turns out the only history I was greeted with was an outdated film reference – “From the maker’s of Interview With The Vampire,” – and some bland vampire mumbling, and a lot of disappointment. Much to my dismay, it turns out that Byzantium is about vampires and not murals.

It might just be me, but I feel like the vampire genre is on its way out. If True Blood, Twilight and yes, even Vampire Diaries (which I know I am obsessed with), didn’t kill the immortal blood bags, these upcoming films and series (TV’s 2013 Dracula, anyone?) are almost certainly beating its unconscious corpse body to double-death. I’m tired of it, and something that I once thought was incredibly amazing is now boring the shit out of me.

The trailer for Byzantium is no better. It seems to take a whole load of vampire tropes and throw them all together, coupled with equally bland acting. We’re 200 years old, running around, blah blah blah, we like blood. At some point, someone gets a boyfriend, and everything gets crazy. Whoo-hoo.

Two things I don’t understand though are that neither the vampires are old enough to have lived in Byzantium (which faded away around 500 years ago), nor does this film take place in present day turkey. From what I’m gathering, unless the reference to Byzantium is clearer in the film itself, the writers just found a name that sounded cool and decided to use it, which is something I have a hard time respecting.

Also, why does the trailer reference a nearly 20 year old movie? (No, I also have a hard time believing that Interview With The Vampire came out in ‘94…) It makes it seem like the filmmakers haven’t done anything worthwhile in nearly a quarter of a century… which is extremely concerning. But, hey, maybe it’s true. Maybe that was the last successful thing they did. Or, perhaps they’re like cicadas, and pop out of the ground every 20 or so years with another vampire movie? If that’s the case, then I’m actually pretty excited. But unless Byzantium is made by underground demon bugs, It looks extremely underwhelming.

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