Thanksgiving is upon us and with that come all of the glitz and glamour of turkeys and buckle hats. And it’s everywhere! You can’t escape Thanksgiving. It’s forced upon us so early that people quickly grow sick and tired of this and don’t want any of it. So how is Hollywood to capitalize on this American holiday event? Well, they gave it a shot in the most half-assed way possible: by remaking the Robert Downey Jr./Zach Galafinakis comedy classic Due Date with Steve Martin, a guy who plays the banjo, and John Candy, the guy who was the security guard in that Griswolds movie. It’s a pretty sorry cast, I’m afraid to say. It’s even sort of flabbergasting considering John Candy’s been dead since 1994. If it wasn’t for the appearance of MEGA STAR Kevin Bacon, I’d say most of their budget went to special effects to bring Mr. Candy back to life.
The movie begins with Steven Martin’s sad portrayal as RDJ’s Due Date character, renamed Neal Page, trying to get home for Thanksgiving. Because we all know how totally important Thanksgiving is to the average American. Neal is basically a dick, but somehow he’s the character you relate to. At least, he’s the character I related to. That probably says something there. Naturally, in the process of attempting to get home he meets Del Griffith (played by Joch Galifacandy) and hates him. Del is a smiling, friendly bear of a man and you somehow hate him too. After some trouble with the airplane/airport (see how closely they follow the original?) the two decide to travel together, though it’s quite obvious Neal isn’t digging it.
I actually took notes, so here’s how things go travel-wise: The pair start out in New York City shooting for Chicago, end up in Wichita, go to St. Louis and then I stopped taking notes because I started watching Due Date instead.
For as much as I watched, there were several memorable scenes. Such as the appearance of Buellerbuellerbueller Guy and the scene where they’re both somehow grossed out that John Candy had his hand between two pillows. I don’t get it. But one great thing that both Due Date and Planes, Trains and Automobiles had was an homage to the greatest comedy of all time, Tommy Boy, in the form of two once-enemies, now best friends, driving a completely trashed car down the highway.
After finishing watching Tommy Boy, I watched the end of this rip-off and was surprised to see some originality thrown in there so whatever HACK “wrote” this movie (some John “Nobody” Hughes) could say he contributed. There was an attempt at some heart and a little bit of a twist! Someone was dead the whole time! Figure that shit out.
So if you’re looking for a movie to get you in the spirit of Thanksgiving I highly recommend Due Date and Tommy Boy! I also recommend that if you took a word of this review seriously, you take whatever media you watch movies on, be it VHS cassettes, DVDs or your CPU, and choke on that shit. Planes Trains and Automobiles is one of the greats and don’t you goddamn forget it.