Category Archives: Reviews

Did it win or lose Cannes?

Movie Review: Slice and Dice: The Slasher Film Forever (2012, Dir. Calum Waddell)

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Slice and Dice: The Slasher Film Forever

I learned of High Rising Productions, the company that created Slice and Dice, through the work that they did producing extras for Arrow Video’s DVD and Blu-ray releases.  Before High Rising Productions made extras a lot of UK horror releases either didn’t have them, or claimed an interactive menu was an extra feature.

The first High Rising Production extra I saw featured cast interviews, the thoughts of the director, and was made for a much more interesting viewing experience.  To the point where, if some of their short documentaries like ‘From Romero to Rome’ had been longer, perhaps they could have been stand alone features.

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Movie Review: The Paranormal Entity Series

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The Asylum's Paranormal Entity

Paranormal Activity was so successful for me because when I saw it, I knew nothing about it.  In fact, I’d seen a trailer for a film called The Fourth Kind and had thought Paranormal Activity was actually that film.  So, when I watched it, yes, I knew it wasn’t real, but the simple ideas and wonderful acting left me scared and intrigued.  The first Paranormal Activity film stayed in my head for weeks.  The scene of Kate being dragged away by an unseen entity freaked me out.  Shot on consumer grade camcorders, I find most found footage movies to be redundant.  But Paranormal Activity learned from its predecessors and offers a scary ride.  Where The Blair Witch shot itself in the foot by making a sequel that openly laughed at the first movie, the Paranormal Activity series has stuck with its winning formula, sometimes getting it wrong but always keeping the storyline consistent.

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Movie Review: Kill Me Now (2012, Dir. Travis Long)

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Kill Me Now

Before discussing Kill Me Now, I must state that I am a pretty big fan of Cracked.com. This film was written by and stars Cracked.com columnist Michael Swaim (After Hours, Agents of Cracked). There are bit roles for Cracked.com regulars Katy Stoll (Those Aren’t Muskets) and Katie Wilbert (After Hours), and there is a cameo near the end by Daniel O’Brien (Those Aren’t Muskets, After Hours). Most of the people that write regularly at Cracked.com are thanked in the credits, all having some small role in helping some way.

I mention this because I cannot imagine anyone who isn’t a fan of Cracked enjoying this film. It is very much in their style, and although directed by Travis Long, it is truly Michael Swaim’s film. For those that like things in Cracked’s unique style, this is a very, very, very good thing.

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Movie Review: Antiviral (2012, Dir. Brandon Cronenberg)

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Antiviral

Cronenberg. This is a name all film junkies should know. David Cronenberg has directed horror classics such as Videodrome and The Fly, period pieces like A Dangerous Method, masterpieces like Eastern Promises, and underrated gems such as Cosmopolis. He is known for his cold and disconnected style, mixed in with a certain amount of surrealist horror and general oddness.

Does the name Brandon Cronenberg ring any bells? He should. He is the son of David (heh) and a new director. After years of nearly every art form but film, he finally gave in and tried it out with Antiviral. Having premiered at the 2012 Cannes Film Festival, it has just now been released in limited theaters and Video On Demand.

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Movie Review: CLONED: The Recreator Chronicles (2012, Dir. Gregory Orr)

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Cloned: The Recreator Chronicles

CLONED: The Recreator Chronicles is fucking brilliant. In fact, I only have two legitimate complaints about the film, and both stayed inside of Stella Maeve’s shirt the entire time. I appreciated the candor of this film, especially after being so let down by the spoon-fed dreck and insulting nature of the Evil Dead remake. Also, towards the end, there is a scene with a guy kissing his own clone, which I’m sure would cause any fine Christian to not know whether to spit or go blind. What with, not only the man-on-man action, but the whole immorality of cloning, blah blah, suck my satanic prick, issue. This film gets an A+ and extra fucking credit.

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Hemlock Grove Review, Episode 3: “The Order of the Dragon”

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hemlock-grove_season1-episode3_you-won-cannes

Like many slasher films, the third episode of Hemlock Grove, “The Order of the Dragon”, features a girl making out with another girl. And like many relationships in my life, the girl that she is making out with is dead. What separates this from most slasher films is how it was shown: without any sexuality. Modern day slasher films, which often incorporate torture porn elements, attempt to make viewers aroused by death mixed with erotica. After all, slasher films are meant to excite and terrify. Unfortunately, neither happened here. What happened instead was a girl, the at-first-cute-now-annoying ‘novelist’ Alyssa Sworn (Emilia McCarthy), thinks her friends are tricking her with a dead body, so she kisses it. Turns out she was right. The body was dead, and that’s it. I still can’t figure out why this happened, but it was a nice change from the usual business.

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Movie Review: Iron Man 3 (2013, Dir. Shane Black)

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iron man 3

Last year, after Joss Whedon’s The Avengers received critical attention, people everywhere wondered how the series was going to transition back to stand alone movies. Out of all the characters from The Avengers, Robert Downey Jr.’s character of Iron Man is by far the most popular, as can be seen in the box office numbers. Iron Man and Iron Man 2 brought in $585 million and $624 million respectively, nearly twice any of the other stand-alone films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

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Tribeca Film Fest 2013: Prince Avalanche (2013, Dir. David Gordon Green)

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prince-avalanche_tribeca_2013_you-won-cannes

I remember how I felt when I saw David Gordon Green’s All The Real Girls in theaters. At that point in my life, I was quite young, and I’d watch anything at the only arthouse theater in my town. Movies would pop up there, screen for a week, and vanish forever. I remember very little of the film itself, but there are remnants of the visuals left in my synapses; the warm organic closeness, and I recall my reactions. I know I was captivated, but I knew nothing massive was happening. I felt I should be bored, but I wasn’t.

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DVD Review: Manborg (2011, Dir. Steven Kostanski)

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manborg-you-won-cannes

Apparently, in some kind of alternate WWII scenario the forces of Hell itself invaded the material realm. Two brothers fought valiantly on the battlefield, but lost their lives to a hell spawn called Count Draculon, but right before the second brother died he vowed vengeance.

Cut to future earth where a Manborg wakes up. This future earth is now populated and ruled over by the denizens of Hell. Count Draculon, looking more jacked up than when we saw him in the prologue, is the Grand Poobah.

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