A Retro Shock Theater Review, Mosquito (1995, Dir. Gary Jones)

Mosquito 1995 Gary Jones

As I write this, I’ve just heard news that stop motion special effects artist Ray Harryhausen has just passed away at the age of 93. His death reminds me that his monsters and those “Big Bug” movies from the 50s were the first flicks I latched onto when I was kid. It helped that me and my brother were extremely fascinated by insects and spiders growing up, but to see them in a science fiction film in which they grow to an enormous size and wreak havoc upon mankind was a whole new experience for me.

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In Defense Of Ewoks…

In Defense of Ewoks... Return of the Jedi

I fucking love Ewoks. I don’t really understand why so many people don’t….

But we’ll get to that in a minute.

Star Wars has had as profound an impact on me as any work of art can. In fact, it has on all of us. It changed the culture of blockbuster films and the way they’d be marketed, with its action figures, memorabilia, and women in gold metallic bikinis. Movies would never be the same after the original trilogy. Star Wars is so ingrained in our culture that it has its own holiday. May 4th is known around the world as Star Wars Day (as in, May the fourth be with you). As much as I grew up and worshiped the series, I never really celebrated this day. But this year I decided I would embrace my inner child (and geek) and take part in what was sure to be the biggest May 4th event: The 30th anniversary screening of Return of the Jedi.

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Reign Of Fire: A Magic Hour and Forty One Minutes

Reign of Fire

I almost constantly find myself discussing film with my dear friend George. Often these conversations shift to us debating what we believe to be perfect films. Over the years our opinions have changed and even differed. For a quick example, and a very high one on that list of our bickering catalysts, is the whole Han shoots first thing. He is wrong, and is clearly an asshole.

This article is not supposed to be about that though, so let me stay on track here. This is about where we do see completely eye to eye. A perfect film does exist, and its fucking name is Reign of Fire!

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Movie Review: Titan Find (1985, Dir. William Malone)

titan_find_you-won-cannes

Here we are, fifteen years from when Digital Video Discs first hit the marketplace and there are still movies that have yet to hit DVD. It goes without saying that this can be very frustrating to die hard collectors, especially those of us who specialize in collecting genre movies. It was long wait indeed when The Boogens (1981) finally came out last year with a commentary. Two things I thought I’d never say in conjunction with that movie. Well, mark you calendars, for on March 16 another much sought after genre flick is poised to take DVD players by storm—William Malone’s Alien inspired Creature (1984).

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Why I’ll Miss Awards Season

you-won-cannes-why-ill-miss-awards-season

The Oscars are over and I’m rather depressed. I feel totally empty now that months upon months of prognosticating on who will win is finally over. Unlike the editor in chief of this website – I love awards season. It combines both my competitive nature and my love of film. And in all honesty, as much as people complain about it being self indulgent, films are at their core art and I think it is important for a society to honor artistic achievements. The Oscars aren’t just for actors and actresses but for editors and production designers. This may sound corny, but Sunday night some girl or boy was watching the Oscars, hearing about the art of editing for the first time and twenty years from now could find themselves standing on that stage accepting an award from their industry. It’s kind of beautiful, don’t you think?

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Real Men Cry At Movies

you-won-cannes-cinema-paradiso

If you’re looking at this website, you probably love films. If you’re like me, then you deeply love them. They affect you in a way no other art does. You can get emotional just thinking about moments from a movie. Case in point, I was re-watching Cinema Paradiso. It is one of the great films about the love of film. It’s a film that reminds us that going out to the movies is a communal experience. It can never be replaced by video on demand. Our emotions are intertwined in the memories of seeing a film. In its final scene, all these feelings about life and cinema came rushing over not only the main character but me as well. And what did I do? I cried like a God damn baby. If you haven’t seen the montage that ends this masterful film, stop reading, find yourself a copy, and proudly join me in a good cry. Even thinking about the nostalgic Ennio Morricone score is making me misty eyed.

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Freddy, Jason and Leatherface: The New Dracula, Frankenstein and Wolfman

Freddy, Jason and Leatherface- The New Dracula Frankenstein and Wolfman_you-won-cannes

Whether you love or hate the Saw franchise, there is no arguing that Jigsaw has rightfully earned his place next to the top horror icons such as Freddy Krueger, Jason Vorhees and Michael Myers. Now Carl Mazzocone, who was in charge of Jigsaw’s home Twisted Pictures for four years, has set out to put Leatherface back at the top, where he belongs.

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Why You Shouldn’t Judge A Film Before You See It.

Why you shouldn't judge a film before you see it

We all judge films before we see them, it’s why we have movie trailers. They give us an idea of whether or not we want to spend our hard earned cash on seeing a film. But at the end of the day, even after being bombarded by advertising, you never really know until you go. You can’t be sure until you are sitting in that darkened theater watching the film. In the past few weeks there seems to be a lot of uproar over two films in particular. People were rushing to pass judgment on these films even before they were released to the public. This seems more like a plan to taint the films rather than have an actual discussion about them; to give us the viewer a preconceived notion on what the film might be saying before it even has a chance to say it. It turns out that both of these pictures are not just controversial, they’re also two of the year’s best.   

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What Is The Best Film To Watch While You Die?

Every once in awhile I come across one of those lists of “100 Films You Need To See Before You Die.” I always peruse it, making sure that if I were in fact hit by a bus tomorrow, I at least died with the knowledge that I finally saw the complete un-cut version of Erich von Stroheim’s Greed.  Rather than going on great adventures, like any good cinephile my bucket list is mostly filled with films. And yes, I am ashamed and will eventually get around to seeing La Dolce Vita. The point is that these lists recently got me thinking about a different subject, albeit one still dealing with death. The morbid question I want to know the answer to is: What film would you want to watch as you were dying?

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A Case For Watching Depressing Movies

The best performance of last year was Tilda Swinton’s cold yet heartbreaking turn in We Need to Talk About Kevin. The film itself quickly became a personal favorite of mine. It’s not an easy film to watch, and that’s exactly why I loved it. When I went to see it during its unfortunately futile Oscar qualifying run at The Silent Movie Theater in Los Angeles, I brought along a handful of friends. When the end credits rolled I was left speechless and devastated. As we left the theater, my friend Lorenzo went on and on about what we had just seen. Finally he concluded “I think I hate this film.” The conversation continued and eventually, without prompting him, Lorenzo reversed himself, “I think I love this film.”After all what’s not to love about a film feature teen violence, pregnancy anxiety, dead pets, and ocular cavity hygiene?

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