10 Reasons Orange Is The New Black Makes Prison Look Great

Ten Reasons Orange Is The New Black Makes Prison Look Great

The more I watch Orange is the New Black, the more prison is starting to look really appealing. The fact of the matter is, I’m not making any money off this stupid website and I can barely survive! Often the thought crosses my mind, wouldn’t it be great if someone would just take care of me? There’s so much I enjoy doing, like reading, writing, and making things with my hands, but I can’t seem to make ends meet. But now that I’ve gotten a good look at prison from OITNB, I’m realizing it might be a perfect fit for me. How do I get accepted into prison? Do I email them my resume?

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Hemlock Grove Review, Episode 3: “The Order of the Dragon”


Like many slasher films, the third episode of Hemlock Grove, “The Order of the Dragon”, features a girl making out with another girl. And like many relationships in my life, the girl that she is making out with is dead. What separates this from most slasher films is how it was shown: without any sexuality. Modern day slasher films, which often incorporate torture porn elements, attempt to make viewers aroused by death mixed with erotica. After all, slasher films are meant to excite and terrify. Unfortunately, neither happened here. What happened instead was a girl, the at-first-cute-now-annoying ‘novelist’ Alyssa Sworn (Emilia McCarthy), thinks her friends are tricking her with a dead body, so she kisses it. Turns out she was right. The body was dead, and that’s it. I still can’t figure out why this happened, but it was a nice change from the usual business.

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Hemlock Grove, Episode 2 Review: “The Angel”

Hemlock Grove Episode 2, The Angel

The issues of the first episode of Hemlock Grove, “Jellyfish in the Sky” (read the review here), are still prevalent, if not more so in this next episode, “The Angel”. The plot is still lacking (by ‘lacking’ I mean there is no plot thus far). The main character, Peter Rumancek (Landon Liboiron), a gypsy that has moved into town, is still trying to find his place in the story. Roman Godfrey (Bill Skarsgård) is still mlurking around, attempting to find out more about the murder of Brooke Bluebell (Lorenza Izzo), with little success. That sounds like plot, right?

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Hemlock Grove Season 1, Episode 1 Review: “Jellyfish in the Sky”

Hemlock Grove

As of late, Netflix has really gotten into original programming. In 2012, they brought Lilyhammer, a crime comedy. In February of this year, they presented House of Cards (read my review here ), a political thriller. In May, they will have brought back Arrested Development, a continuation of the critically acclaimed comedy series, and soon they will bring a host of new shows to the table. There will be Derek, a comedy-drama, Narcos, a drama, Orange is the New Black, a comedy-drama, Sense8, a sci-fi drama brought by the Wachowskis (The Matrix, Cloud Atlas), and Turbo: F.A.S.T. (Fast Action Stunt Team), an animated series. To say that Netflix is changing television, making it more cinematic, is not an exaggeration. I mentioned that more than once in my House of Cards review.

When I reviewed House of Cards, I watched the full season, then reviewed it as a whole. I am going to try something different with Hemlock Grove. I will review it on an episode-by-episode basis, as I go through it. At the end of it all, I shall do a complete write up on the whole show, and how I think it did. This article will serve as an introduction to the process (these past two paragraphs), and a review for the first episode “Jellyfish in the Sky” (everything that follows).

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Television Review: House Of Cards (2013)


Before I review the actual show, I have to make sure that you, the reader, understand something about me. People that know me know that I have an almost unhealthy love of film. I watch film way too much, I talk about film way too much, and I buy films way too much. However, I do not carry the same feelings for television. Sure, I like to watch certain shows, like Suburgatory or Person of Interest, but up until recently, I never knew how good it could truly be.

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