Madeleine’s Top 12 Horror Films of 2016 For Fangoria.Com

Nina Forever

Ahh, 2016. The worst! That is, if you get swept up in the wave of everything awful that’s happening around us and decide the easiest place to loudly put the blame is in the year itself. We’re on a timeline of garbage and tonight, as I’m assuming this will get posted on New Year’s Eve to fangoria.com, we get to start again and move on to the brand new awful of 2017.

Anyhow, what the hell am I talking about. Even if Hollywood had one of its shittiest years in a while, the weird step-sister who likes to hang out in the attic and pull the legs off bugs, horror movies, did not. It was a battle narrowing my list for fangoria.com down to twelve and I’m absolutely furious to not have Anna Biller’s provactative, technicolor The Love Witch or the cerebral Escape The Room!: Coroner Edition The Autopsy of Jane Doe or the movie everyone else liked more than me The Witch on here, but who’s to blame? I am. I blame me and I am very tired. I still took the time to write a paragraph about my fixation with Yoga Hosers, so maybe I need to get my priorities straight in 2017. Here we go!

2016: YEAR OF THE WITCH!

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Amos Mortimer’s 2015: The List!

You Won Cannes kicks off their annual end of year coverage to send off 2015 and usher in a new year of exciting content. Thank you to all of our readers for the support we’ve received in 2015, and have a happy new year! Visit the site throughout the week for more top 10 lists like this one from the YWC staff!

Oh me, oh my! It’s been a long time since ol’ Amos has been allowed to write for this otherwise dead website, having promised the editors I wouldn’t even touch my computer keys with my hands until they made a new STAR WARS movie. And now with the new STAR WARS bringing in all the money that could be going to making cinema great again, I can finally recap why 2015 has been the best year in cinema culture period. So unless you’re my ex-wife, sit back, knock back a half-dozen cold ones and get to gettin’, brah…

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BENEDICT OSCARWATCH: AMOS MORTIMER’S TOP 10 MOVIES OF 2013

BENEDICT OSCARWATCH

“You’re The Best Around. Nothing’s Ever Gonna Keep You Down.”
– Joe Esposito, ‘You’re The Best Around’

It’s 2014! And while every fucking idiot in the world is crying about how awesome Big Dick Wall Street is, I have to write some fucking article about what the best movies I saw this year was. Now, I’ll be honest, I don’t get out much, and frankly, that’s how I like it. Fucking retards go to the theaters because little kids use their flip phones and babies are crying everywhere and it’s taxing when you’re trying to figure out what Optimus is telling Shia.

So I decided to compile the top 10 movies I saw this year. I’m not counting porn, as to not show favoritism to a genre. I’m also not counting movies I didn’t see. So here you go…

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Madeleine’s Top 10 Films of 2012

top 10 films of 2012

As this is a personal top 10, I don’t feel guilty at all admitting my preference for genre films.  I will also add there are a lot of movies I haven’t seen this year that I suspect I would have loved. Like, for example:The Master, Zero Dark Thirty, Turin Horse, Doomsday Book, Excision, Amour, so on and so forth. I didn’t keep track of what I watched this year, I may have only seen like 20 films, honestly.  I thought Argo was a lame adult movie to make adults feel good about liking good movies. And, Central Park Five was my favorite documentary of the year, (but I didn’t see This Is Not A Film).  And my least favorite film was Sound of My Voice (my review is here).

But these were my 10 favorites…

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The Top 10 Worst Comic Book Movie Vehicles

Ghost Rider‘s bike may define him and Batman’s Batmobile is definitely iconic, but most of the other superheroes don’t have such memorable vehicles. This, however, has not stopped Hollywood from introducing some of the dumbest superhero vehicles of all time to movie screens. Some of the vehicles on this list have been plucked off the pages of the comics, and some have been created solely for the big-screen adaptations, but all of them have one thing in common… they suck! The X-Men’s blackbird is an easy way to get the entire team from point A to point B, but it’s just a stupid plane. The Fantasticar not only has a dumb name, it also carries a dumb team. Spawn isn’t Steve McQueen, so why is he riding a motorcycle?

This list was harder to put together than I thought it would be. There were almost zero resources and no help from our Facebook friends. If I missed anything painfully obvious please let me know in the comments section.

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