Looks Like Paradise Lost Its Funding

According to preliminary reporting from both Variety and Deadline, Legendary Pictures has canned the upcoming film rendition of John Milton’s Epic Poem, Paradise Lost.

Thank God. Or Satan, although I’m sure both had equal amounts at stake here. While the big G-man probably didn’t want to be depicted in Hollywood by anyone other than Morgan Freeman, (although who really can ever be sure of his motivation,) Satan definitely had more to lose from the now cancelled  Alex Proyas film.  I mean, if I were the Prince of Darkness, the last thing I would want would be to have A Team and Hangover star Bradly Cooper depicting the cause of all want, desire and temptuous evil. I’d rather have Snooky play the part, (although in retrospect she does sort of resemble a demented Satyr, so who knows, maybe she is the devil.)

According to some insiders, the film was canned because the technology needed to bring Proyas’s vision to the screen “simply wasn’t there yet”. Paradise Lost is an incredible renowned epic poem, dealing with heavy subject matter, in a serious way. I don’t care what his vision was, anyone whose IMDB bio compares them to Michael Bay has no business interpreting literary canon. Ever.

The film had initially been delayed back in December when the budget climbed over $120 million, and it’s assumed that the project has now been scrapped due to to even more outrageous budget estimates.

Now that’s something I’ll give a hail marty for.

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