Movie Review: CLONED: The Recreator Chronicles (2012, Dir. Gregory Orr)

Cloned: The Recreator Chronicles

CLONED: The Recreator Chronicles is fucking brilliant. In fact, I only have two legitimate complaints about the film, and both stayed inside of Stella Maeve’s shirt the entire time. I appreciated the candor of this film, especially after being so let down by the spoon-fed dreck and insulting nature of the Evil Dead remake. Also, towards the end, there is a scene with a guy kissing his own clone, which I’m sure would cause any fine Christian to not know whether to spit or go blind. What with, not only the man-on-man action, but the whole immorality of cloning, blah blah, suck my satanic prick, issue. This film gets an A+ and extra fucking credit.

While camping on a remote island, Tracy, Craig, and Derek find a seemingly abandoned house. They set in motion an event via a later discovered secret laboratory, in which they clone themselves accidentally. The stronger, faster, better versions of the three then plot to kill the originals and assume their identities. CLONED: The Reactor Chronicles was written and directed by Gregory Orr, and stars Stella Maeve, Alexander Nifong, J. Mallory McCree, John de Lancie, and Laura Moss.

Where so many other films try to be smarter than what they are, this film just is what it is. CLONED is proof that not all films need to be brilliant in order to be perfect. You don’t need to sacrifice a film’s greatness by trying to make the greatest film. Just make something that people will love. If people don’t get it, they’re probably just bad people. “Oh, you don’t like CLONED: The Recreator Chronicles? Do you also rape poor defenseless kittens?”

I really appreciated how all of the foreshadowing was made intentionally simplistic. It immediately opens up the story, and allows for the film to be fun without being a “horror comedy”, or just being a big homage to something else. The entire plot of the film is given away in a very obvious and strategic zoom in on a can of pasta sauce. Yes, pasta sauce! CLONED eventually turns into a game of Marco Polo between the main characters and their physically superior clones. It’s superb. My favorite part of this is that it actually says “New And Improved” on the jar!

Cloned: The Recreator Chronicles, Pasta Sauce

I could go on and on, but I’m trying to not give away too much. This film really just has to be seen to be believed. I think the only other important selling point is that the entire science fiction concept of this film is initially presented through toilet humor. This may sound strange, but there is literally a cesspool that clones people when struck by lightning… well, as long as you’re shitting, showering, or making a sissy when the lightning strikes.

The end has a pleasant little “twist”, for lack of a better word. It’s morbidly funny, a little messed up, and very satisfying. Especially from one character’s perspective. It’s so dick. It’s so fucking selfish. And oddly enough, makes me admire that character for the first time in the entire film. Do yourself a favor and don’t be a cunt. Watch CLONED: The Recreator Chronicles, as soon as fucking possible. I dare you not to love it.

Oh, and watch through the credits for a tasty treat!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

From Around The Web: